
Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling emotionally drained? Or found yourself caught in the cycle of giving advice, thinking you’re helping, only to realize you’re carrying the weight of someone else’s energy?
I want to share some thoughts on energetic hygiene and maintenance—how we can protect our own energy while being a source of strength for others.
Grounding: The First Step to Energetic Clarity
Before we can manage our energy in interactions, we must first root ourselves. Grounding is the practice of connecting with the present moment, stabilizing our emotions, and anchoring ourselves in our own truth. Without grounding, we are more susceptible to absorbing the emotions and energies of those around us.
Simple grounding techniques include:
Walking barefoot on the earth
Deep breathing with awareness
Visualization exercises (imagining roots extending from your feet into the ground)
Using grounding stones like black tourmaline or hematite
When we are grounded, we are less likely to take on what isn’t ours and more able to hold space without losing ourselves.
The Illusion of Helping: Advice-Giving vs. True Empowerment
One of the biggest revelations from my conversation with Deidre was the illusion that giving advice is always helpful. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that when someone shares their struggles, the best way to support them is by offering solutions.
But in reality, this can be disempowering.
Why? Because when we assume we know what’s best for someone else, we unintentionally rob them of the opportunity to find their own wisdom. True support comes from listening deeply and reflecting questions back to them so they can access their inner guidance.
Instead of saying: “You should do this...”, try asking:
“What does your intuition say?”
“What have you already tried, and how did it feel?”
“What outcome do you truly desire?”
This shifts the dynamic from dependency to self-empowerment.
Releasing the Need to Be Needed
Sometimes, our desire to help others isn’t purely altruistic—it stems from an unconscious need to feel needed. When we consistently attract people who unload their struggles onto us, it’s worth asking: Do I thrive on feeling essential? Does being ‘the one with the answers’ give me a sense of purpose?
Recognizing this pattern allows us to break free from the cycle. We don’t need to fix or save anyone. Instead, we can be a pillar of strength—a grounded presence that supports without absorbing, listens without solving, and uplifts without attachment.
Energetic Maintenance: Protecting Your Own Energy
To maintain our energetic health, we must develop daily practices that clear and protect our field. Some effective methods include:
Energy clearing rituals (smudging with sage, palo santo, or sound healing)
Setting intentional boundaries (mentally affirming what energy you allow in and what you release)
Energetic shielding (visualizing a protective light around you before engaging in emotionally intense interactions)
Taking space for self-replenishment (quiet time, nature walks, meditation)
By prioritizing energetic hygiene, we ensure that we can show up fully for ourselves and others—without depletion.
Final Thoughts: Becoming a Rock, Not a Sponge
The greatest gift we can give others is not advice, but presence. When we ground ourselves, release the need to fix, and empower others to connect with their own wisdom, we transform our relationships. We move from being emotional sponges to beacons of strength—offering support without sacrificing our own well-being.
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